personal, wedding

The Reality of Wedding Planning

My partner and I have been engaged for over two years but we only starting seriously thinking about our wedding at the beginning of this year. Being quite young, and not having attended many other weddings, we didn’t really have a clue where to begin so we reached out to family and friends for help.

I began browsing Pinterest and wedding blogs for inspiration and was beginning to envisage my wedding day. My partner and I have always said that we did not want to spend thousands of pounds on our wedding – it is a day that should represent and celebrate us without having to blow the bank. With the endless wedding inspiration you can find online, planning a cheap, DIY wedding is certainly achievable and that is exactly what we set out to do.

Before I even had a chance to start researching, I felt like I lost all say in my own wedding. When you are engaged, everyone wants to have their say and wants to tell you how a wedding SHOULD be. At first, it seemed easier to just go along with what others were saying and this resulted in us losing control of our own special day.

That is, until we realised the wedding was getting bigger and bigger and shaping up to be the exact opposite of what we wanted. So much pressure was being put on us to do things a certain way and to have a traditional wedding that it even caused conflict between loved ones.

My mental health has also been affected by wedding planning and as sad as it is to say, there have been times where I’ve lost all interest in the wedding. It sounds ridiculous that something as special as a wedding could turn negative, but that was the reality for me for many months.

That’s when I decided that enough was enough – this is our special day and it should not be steered by the opinions of others. As much as we value and listen to the ideas and suggestion of others, we should be allowed to express ourselves through our wedding and be as untraditional and wacky as we’d like, regardless of whether it displeases others.

After months of going forwards and then backwards again, scrapping various ideas, and wanting to forget about it all and just elope, we’ve decided to just scale things down. We’re having a very small wedding ceremony with close family, followed by a reception in a local pub with good food and lots of beer. And quite frankly, that is all we could ever want and need.

As people always say, planning a wedding is one of the most stressful periods of your life, why should we accept that? We should be able to enjoy the entire experience and allow ourselves to be creative, and defy what society says about stressful wedding planning.

If I’ve learned anything from wedding planning, it’s that I should just be myself and feel free to go about my life in my own unique way. I hope any future brides who read this take something away from it and will not be afraid to express themselves.

All I know for sure is that if you truly love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, you’ll be happy regardless of what kind of wedding you have. It’s not all about the wedding day, it’s about the lifelong marriage that comes after the wedding.

P.S.  I’ll have more wedding posts in future and I promise they will be a lot more positive! Look out for these posts if you’re also a simple, budget-savvy bride.